Posted by: gisspar | April 11, 2009

Quest for world domination

Now that I’ve joined the unwashed masses of bloggers and tweeters, I’m thinking the next logical step is world domination. I know, I know, it’s probably really bad form to outsource the evil-plan making responsibilities, but I’ve got a lot on my plate right now and I don’t want to see any more delays. So here it is, my plan for world domination:

Evil Plan ™!

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil – It’s my nature

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first incinerate a town mascot. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, bewildered by your arrival. Who is this despoiler of all that is good and nice and true? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black.

Stage Two

Next, you must obliterate the pacific ocean. This will all be done from a fake mountain, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will gibber like madmen, as countless hordes of robot warriors hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must send forth your needlessly big weather machine, bringing about something that’s really metal. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to elect you dictator for life.

as provided by: So You’ve Decided to Be Evil

Also note, I would also accept computer programmers as part of my hench-lady-men-partners. Or maybe that’s henches-lady-men-partner? No, no more distractions! I have to figure out what the town mascot is.



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